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Monday, February 23, 2009

for my wife . . .

Friends and family often ask why it matters whether we can marry. In their eyes, todays' gays and lesbians lead fairly normal lives with little interference. Why can't we just leave things alone and be happy with what we've achieved. I don't know if my feeble attempts to explain to them the importance of that piece of paper ever really gets through, although I do try.

For them, this is why we want to marry. This is what it's all about. Although all the rights and privileges afforded married couples would be great, at the heart of the matter is our dignity. When the person we have shared years of our lives with lays dying in a hospital bed, we want to be able to hold their hands and be with them. When decisions need to be made concerning medical care, we want the person closest to us to be consulted rather than someone we may see only once or twice a year. We need to have our relationships acknowledged at the most critical times in our lives.

The trailer below is for the documentary, for my wife. It is Charlene Strong's tribute to her partner of nine years, Kate Fleming. Kate drowned after a torrential rainstorm flooded the couple's basement. Charlene was only allowed into the hospital room where Kate lay dying after Kate's sister called the hospital. After Kate died, the funeral director would not recognize Charlene in making the funeral arrangements, instead directing all questions to Kate's mother. Watch the trailer, read the story in the Advocate, and see the film. Then, hopefully, you can stand with us in seeking to gain the rights and dignity all people deserve.